Nazi Zombies
by Xandrya
Summary: Silly little one-shot. Abe, Hellboy, and Johann share a dude moment while playing Call of Duty: World at War.


**Author's Note:**_ This is just a crazy one-shot dedicated to my older brother. He inspired this mess, after all. I don't own Hellboy or the Call of Duty games. This is supposed to be more comic-verse style, but it's definitely not canon, just silly. xD I hope you all find it as entertaining as I did._

**Nazi Zombies**

It seemed that the agents of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense hardly ever got a vacation. There was always something going on in the world, always some monster terrorizing a city, always some evil supernatural being hell-bent on world domination, always something to trigger the apocalypse and extinction of the human race. Yes, it was a pretty busy place these days. The time between these missions was always filled with filling out paperwork and writing reports. Abe didn't really care for writing reports.

Presently, the amphibious man wandered down one of the many corridors of the B.P.R.D. headquarters building, arms full of papers. It was hard to hang on to the disheveled pile of paper work and he was constantly stopping to pick them up. Everybody seemed to be in such a hurry, rushing past him while he struggled to keep hold of all of the papers. Abe badly need a break, though no one would ever get him to admit it. He passed by a door, but the sounds of voices made him stop suddenly.

"Fire ze panzerschreck!"

"Shut up!"

"Fire ze panzerschreck!"

"I'm trying! Shut up!"

Abe knew the two voices well; Johann Krauss and Hellboy. What were they fighting about and what the hell was a panzerschreck? He tried to straighten the papers before he fumbled with the doorknob and pushed the door open, peering inside. Johann was standing behind a long couch, shouting directions at Hellboy. The demon was seated on the sofa in front of a large TV, playing a video game. He looked pretty determined and his tail waved back and forth in irritation at the ectoplasmic man giving him orders.

"Nobody likes a backseat gamer," Hellboy shouted at him, picking up a pillow and throwing it at Johann's containment suit while an explosion lit up the screen. "Way to go! Now my guy's dead!"

"He wouldn't be if you'd fired ze panzerschreck like I told you!"

"What's going on in here?" Abe questioned.

"Oh, hey, Abe," Hellboy said, instantly perking up. "Look what Manning bought us. It's a playstation. We're playing Call of Duty. Well, I am anyway, and Johann thinks he's helping. Wanna play?"

"I can't," the amphibious man replied, a little confused. He'd never played a video game before. "I've got work to do."

"Ah, c'mon, Abe," Hellboy pleaded. "You can fill out your reports later. It's a first-person shooter game. You ought to be good at it. C'mon."

With a sigh, Abe relented. He _was_ an exceptional marksman, much better than Hellboy. He dumped the papers on a nearby table and sat down on the couch next to his old friend. If Johann had had a face, it would have held an annoyed expression at the fact that he hadn't been invited to play. He took to crossing his arms over the chest of his containment suit and pouting, though nobody seemed to notice. Hellboy spent quite a while showing Abe how the controller worked and what buttons did what.

Abe had found out that, despite his skill with firearms in the real world, he was a terrible shot in the game. It took them four hours to get through the co-op campaign. It seemed that every level, Hellboy gained far more points than Abe did, which annoyed the fish-man. And then there was Johann who was constantly telling them what weapons they should use. Abe got so tired of hearing "Fire ze panzerschreck!" and "Knife him! Knife him!" that his head was about to explode.

"What's that?" Abe asked when they returned to the menu screen at the beginning of the game.

"Some kind of mini-game," Hellboy said, selecting it.

"Nazi Zombies?" Johann said, puzzled by the screen that came up.

Even though they'd wasted four hours playing the campaign, Abe and Hellboy decided to give the mini-game a chance. After all, Hellboy hated Nazis and having the chance to destroy wave after wave of undead evil Germans sounded like a nice way to pass the time. It took quite a bit of time and a lot of arguing for the guys to get the hang of it but before long, they were practically pros, and even Johann was enjoying watching the other two play. Their voices drifted out into the hall, which was now deserted because of the late hour.

"Quick, Abe, repair that window!" cried Hellboy.

"You do it! You're closer and I'm trying to keep these zombies away from this one! I only need 2000 more points before I can get that other gun," said Abe.

"Fire ze panzerschreck!" shouted Johann.

Tom Manning just shook his head and kept walking as he passed by the door of the room. He was beginning to regret his decision to buy that stupid thing. They'd never get any work done now.

**Author's Note:** _Okay, now I'll get back to working on more serious fics. xD_


End file.
